Election contingency planning

Things are getting a little bit tense around these parts, what with the elections, the suicide attack on Saturday and the odd wayward rocket.

But we are well prepared, and as all the Afghan staff are on standby, I have the office to myself at the moment so can relax with music, talk to myself and concentrate on the work I need to do, which makes for a pleasant change.

I am finishing my job and leaving Afghanistan in three weeks time, so a lot to do before then. A lot I could write about my departure as well but maybe another time. Will be happy to be home but it’s never easy to leave, so. Anyways.

If things really go belly-up with the elections – very unlikely but as I said, we are well prepared, and it’s quite fun to ham these things up – I may be leaving before then. My grab bag is ready and my radio tuned to the World Service, over which the embassy has said they will communicate the code word for evacuation.

Which is rather exciting, but I am slightly concerned. If they announce it during the business news I think I will realise, but if somebody says ‘the goose is stuck in the oven’ during the cricket it would be very easy to assume it was just another esoteric technical term rather than the order to flee; something akin to a ‘duck in silly leg-off’, perhaps.

Actually, I have a choice of where to flee: into the arms of my own embassy or that of my organisation’s and colleagues’ home country. As the pick-up point for them is in a place that just happens to be well stocked with cold beers (and wine, if there’s no electricity and the beer is cold. must consider every worst-case scenario, however unpalatable. not that wine is unpalatable of course, just that when the weather is this hot, something chilled is preferable) I think I might go with them.

If the news is bad and things go a bit quiet here for the next week, rest assured I’ll be safely passed out under the bar waiting for the cavalry to arrive.

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5 Responses to “Election contingency planning”

  1. Roberta Says:

    Does this mean you have to be listening 24/7? Do you stand shifts, and have you vetted the ability of your colleagues to catch obscure cricketing code?

    Do check that the cellar is plentiful in red wine. There is no point in relying on wine as an alternative to beer on fridge-less days, only to find youreslf stuck with tepid white wine.

    Three more weeks in Kabul aka Kaboom. You’ll be back before I am. I’m still up river, though dropping in this evening for Queen Samm’s BBQ. We’ll hoist a cold something to toast your imminent safe arrival.

  2. Damian Says:

    Here’s hoping nothing happens to spoil your final weeks in the country. And here’s hoping that, should it come to it, the beer is in fact chilled.

  3. Mattshoe Edwards Says:

    I hate to be a pedant, but I am one, so what is to be done?

    1. It’s Silly Mid-Off, not Silly Leg-Off.

    2. It is not possible to have a duck in a fielding position such as Silly Mid-Off since a duck is simply getting out without scoring regardless of the method of getting out.

    3. Neither 1) nor 2) matters for the flow and jouissance of the text, however, as the mistaken cricketing terminology amplifies the effect rather than diminishing or negating it.

    4. The Test between England and Australia is now in progress at the Kennington Oval. In the absence of either a) tickets or b) the loot to ascertain a), I may have to construct some sort of Blue Peter/A-Team Montgolfier balloon next to the stadium, inflate, rise and view from the air.

  4. Mattshoe Edwards Says:

    As I have made clear in the past, I am extremely happy about the return home of the gentleman whose nom de plume/nom de guerre is Harry Rud.

    You have the embryo of a seriously good book here. Does that interest you? If so, I very much look forward to reading it.

    I have a vague plan to pump out a tome of my own entitled “The uninteresting narrative of Matthew Devereux Edwards” which is my own jocular attempt at a version of Equiano’s Interesting Narrative on the manumission out of serfdom/slavery.

    Maybe we could help each other get published beyond the blogocracy?

  5. North Pacific Observer Says:

    …testing… Harry, are you there? – NPO

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